To calm down I tried to masturbate, but it made the cut across my vulva hurt and even to start bleeding again, so I gave it up.Why did I feel so uneasy? Whatever my life would be, once I was free again, it would be better than being a slave. Or would it? This thought crept up at me from behind, unanticipated, uninvited and unwelcome, yet suddenly it was there. Did I really, truly, with all my heart, want to be free? Or was there a comfort in being a slave, a quietude, a deep satisfaction, a secret desire fulfilled that I had never been consciously aware of?I chased this thought away. Who in her own sane mind would not rejoice at the prospect of losing her chains?I masturbated now, never mind the pain and the bleeding — I needed that orgasm! And, I became aware, for this orgasm I needed him! Again I was kneeling in front of him, but this time his hands that held my head did not push me away but pulled me towards his crotch, this time his penis stayed in my mouth, throbbing with. He went down howling in pain. He was lucky I was pretty mad at the fact that he would have killed me if he knew anything about guns; my first thought was to shoot him right in his ratty looking face.I stayed away from the window as I called out to the police, you never knew if some rookie or nervous Nelly would think you were the suspect and shoot. "Okay guys come on in he's down, you might want to call an ambulance, I had to shoot him."Being cautious they made me stand in front of the window with my hands in plain sight as two officers burst into the room with guns drawn. One of them was Lou, "Hey are you all right buddy?" He asked when he saw me standing in front of the window. He pulled his microphone close to his mouth "It's okay the scene is secure."They carted the moaning screaming suspect away in an ambulance and Lou and a guy from the police took my statement. They told me when they tried to arrest him he pulled a hidden knife and stabbed one of the deputies, he couldn't.
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