With the diaphragm and the real pills she felt safe from Howard, but she still took it one step farther. She never made love with Howard during her fertile period. Howard wasn't stupid. He knew her cycle as well as she did and he knew her headache excuses and don't feel good excuses were just to keep him away from her and to keep him from getting her pregnant. That, and her absolute refusal to even talk about having babies had cast a pall over their marriage and eventually their sex life tapered off to almost nothing.She was sorry it was that way, but she did not feel guilty about it. He knew before he said "I do" what to expect. She had spelled it out for him months and months before the wedding and he had agreed to it. Their marriage had reached the point where the only reason they were still together was that neither of them had the time or energy to waste on seeing a divorce attorney.She pulled into the garage and parked next to Howard's car, closed the garage door and went into. Five months later, not much else had changed, and we were on our way home after the funeral and burial of Tom's father. It had been something of an affair with most of the monied crowd of NYC in attendance. Tom said, "I wish that I could have felt more at the loss of my father, but I can't help feeling that he is much happier now that he is with my mother. Mostly, before she died, he was a happy man who was pleasant to be around, but we were never close. He was just one of those people who could only deal with adults. Children only confused him. I tried to stay out of his way as much as I could."Oh, I have no doubt that he loved me in his own way, but he was never demonstrative about it. I wonder if I will find out just how much he did love me at the reading of the will day after tomorrow. Strangely, I am only mildly curious, and will not be disappointed if I find myself cut off from his estate. As long as I have you, I feel that I don't really need anything else." I have no doubt.
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