Our orders, giving us carte blanche to use all and any force to stop the sailing of Western Star, were delivered ten minutes before we climbed aboard the Bristol mail coach. Unfortunately Jane and I had to sit atop of the coach, as our booking had been too late to secure an inside berth. As it was two other passengers were ejected to make room for us, much to their displeasure.We were well wrapped up against the cold night air as the coach started off on the hundred and twenty mile drive to Bristol. I had made many night marches in Spain during the winter, and remembered the rutted tracks, the freezing weather and the stopping and starting, as columns of marching men stumbled through a pitch black night. It was as black as any night I had encountered in Spain but the road, with the macadamised surface, was smooth, the horses kept a steady pace of ten miles an hour and the weather, although cold, was not freezing.Jane and I made no conversation for much of the journey; at the stage. Because most guys dont want to date the over-weight nerd, my dating experience was slim. So, I still havent fallen and love and still havent lost my virginity. Which is how I ended up alone on my couch on a Friday night. As the credits start to roll on the movie that I had been watching, I sighed. It was after two in the morning, but I was wide awake. I started questioning why I hadnt just decided to grow-up and go to that beginning-of-the-year party. Then I saw that that train of thought wasnt headed anywhere good, and I thought to myself, Tiffany, you are putting too much pressure on yourself! You have all the time in the world to get rid of your V-card. You need to relax. And you know the best way to do that? Wink wink. I smiled to myself. Indeed, I did know the best way to relax. I went into my bedroom and retrieved from their separate hiding places my favorite vibrator and my pot. You dont stay a virgin into your twenties and not throwing yourself at the first guy you see at a.
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