His leg was bouncing up and down under the his so rapidly and hard that I felt the vibrations against my chair. I wondered if he knew what I meant and how crazy it drove me to have that jimmy leg so close to me. Really any sort of jostling gave me a degree of pleasure. I loved doing that to myself, and my journal continued with some of the negative effects I was noticing. Actually it’s the area I do sit ups with that are sore. I can think of two possibilities. Either this is what cramps feel like, or my nightly… exercises actually work muscles. If playing with myself so actively does produce muscles I should have a six pack by July. Actually I think that’s what is changing the shape of my butt. I’m mad. I was proud of my butt. It was big in proportion to my waist. It was a nice fat...(what was the word) Oh yeah Bedonkadonk that was randomly there despite my normal thighs, tiny waste, and ballet posture. It was a nice tempting medium ass which I could wave in front of. I expected that I would know it all soon enough. Cheryl had come to lean on me through the tragedy, so like it or not, I was involved.Cheryl's Step mother said, "He wanted to be cremated. I will call the people to make that happen."I asked Cheryl, "Is that what you want to do?She said, "Yes that's what he wanted. He told me that once. I want to do what dad wanted done. It doesn't matter what that is."Lindsay had not been to the hospital, only because it was the way Cheryl wanted it. She had been to the apartment every night for a couple of hours. I didn't know, or care, what lie she told her husband to manage it. I was just glad that she was there for Cheryl. It seemed that somewhere along the line Cheryl and I had become friends. We were no longer even casual lovers. It hurt a little, but I also enjoyed her as a friend, so it wasn't a complete loss. Many of my relationships ended poorly. The one with Cheryl had ended in deep friendship."Maxine, it's me Lucas. I called me to ask if I.
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