Hi Mrs. Thesman!"Robby, one of the ushers that was skirting his responsibility outside, was messing with my bow tie, trying to straighten it. Over his shoulder he welcomed mother was well, "Hey Mrs. T!"It was a happy day, the day of my marriage - less then thirty minutes away and I was surprisingly calm. If only my two buddies would shut up and leave me alone!I then noticed that mother was looking rather somber and was frowning - a deep black feeling was creeping into my chest. "Is there anything wrong mom?" This was my day and I truly did not want anything to ruin it.She looked up, almost distracted, and I could see that she forced a smile upon her lips - "No honey... not really."Not really?She addressed the room at large, "Gentleman... may I have a few minutes alone with my son?" It was not really a question, but mother was always polite.Robby looked at the bow tie and then at me, distressed.He has never been the brightest of my friends. Joel, my Best Man, saved him from mother. ” I rolled off her and faked a giant sigh as if I was exhausted. “Long day, huh?” Pam asked. “Big time,” I said. “I think I’m still hungover from last night.” This was a lie of course, but I had to say something. After “resting,” I took my condom off, laid in the Vitruvian Man position, and let Pam tickle me again to satisfy her sadism, eventually busting in her mouth. She swallowed because I told her it was “unsexy” for girls to not swallow (which is true). I left shortly after, leaving Pam to ponder the disappointment my Sex Peasant status. Maybe if she douched beforehand, I could have given it to her good. I think girls should meet once a month to inspect each other—make sure it doesn’t smell down there, shave off that patch of hair on their ass, etc. Then I could have been a real Sex God. Instead, all I have is a stinky excuse for going soft. Epilogue A month later, while drunk at Woody’s again, I ran into Pam. We said a few words and introduced each other to our friends, and.
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