" Oh thank God!" I exclaimed in relief."And I haven't forgotten that you warned me about dating Wes." Uh ... well ... I don't think Wes..."My voice tailed of as her face hardened."I was his date, Randy. His date," she repeated pointedly. "He was responsible for me; for protecting me when he took me to that party. Was that too much for me to expect - that I would be safe from 'those assholes' as you call them, when I was with him?" No..." And he laughed at me. I was humiliated, and he was laughing at me!"I started to say something in his defense, that he was completely bombed. That he wouldn't have done it if he was anywhere near sober. But she cut me off."And you," she said with a glare, but then she seemed to reconsider saying something. I probably should have let it go, but I had to ask."What?" Do you and Wes enjoy bragging to each other about who you screw?"She snorted at my startled expression."That 'Oh baby oh baby' thing? You've said the exact same thing when you were with me,. I was about to give the Kitchen Nightmares treatment to a lady chef. I already had my shirt off as I strode into her large kitchen, resplendent with metres and metres of sparkling aluminium surfaces. There she was washing vegetables at the sink. All she was wearing was an apron. And she had the most gorgeous arse I'd ever seen, round and pert and gloriously pink. She had the figure of a fifties sex goddess, from her broad shoulders to her womanly hips and fleshy legs which tapered down to exquisitely well-turned ankles. She slowly turned to face me. It was Nigella Lawson. "I've been dying to poke around your pantry, Nigella," I told her. "You think you're such a rogue, don't you Gordon?" she scolded me playfully, a naughty twinkle in her eye. "But you're really just a boorish brute. Jamie is much nicer. And cuter. Even if I can really spank his bottom when it comes to cooking." "What are you trying to make?" I asked, shaking my head as I came over to examine the contents of.
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