*************************************************Our village has a problem. Earth Day is approaching, the due time for the annual fertility rite to ensure reasonable crops from our fields.For hundreds of years we have sacrificed a twenty-one year old virgin on a freshly ploughed field. By sacrifice, I don’t mean killing, but ending her maidenhood on the bare earth. To ensure that the maidenhood was adequately broken, three separate men had to couple with the Earth Maiden between dusk and dawn.Last year had been a disaster. The Earth Maiden had assured us she was a virgin. We didn’t enquire too deeply. Twenty-one year old virgins are rare in the twenty-first century. Not only wasn’t the Earth Maiden a virgin, she was actually pregnant on Earth Day. Her pregnancy wasn’t noticeable, but her baby born seven months later was obviously full term. Our fields had suffered. Unseasonable rainstorms had ruined the crops and the yields had been low.This year we had an even greater problem. There. He sat at his desk and I took aseat also."No," he said, "stand up, all you ever do is sit. I see you sittingaround all the time. You are starting to get over weight. You never do adamn thing."So I stood up and waited for whatever was coming.He took a deep breath and said, "Bob, I really don't know what is goingon with you." Dad," I said, "what do you mean?" Okay, let's start from the beginning," he said, "First, I found outthat for some reason you seem to like to piss on yourself." But Dad, I..." I said.He held up his hand and said, "Let me finish. Last night when I got homeyour sister was almost in tears because someone did something to herunderwear." Dad, I..." I said."If you interrupt me one more time, I swear I'll have you over my knee!"he yelled.I shut up. I was eleven years old, I didn't need a spanking."Now, I know that you were the only one home yesterday," he said. "Didyou have any friends over?" No Dad, I didn't," I said.I didn't really have any friends. There were a few.
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