Anyone reading this would certainly not blame her for doing so, but the truth is that for every man she enjoyed, she paid unfairly by punishing herself with guilt. It helped her a little when she told me what she'd done, but she could never have been expected to understand the curious thrill her confessions gave me from the humiliation of being forced to acknowledge my inadequacies.I had always put her younger exploits down to the insecurities of teenage years, but when I stopped to think, that didn’t explain the married years. The penny dropped. She simply needed fulfilling sex - whatever that might be. One thing for certain, though, she wasn't getting it from me. She is certainly a woman that will laugh in the face of anyone who says size doesn't matter, but she also has had enough experience to know that quality has to endorse quantity. I began to ponder the need for her to be truly pleasured by another man but she rejected the idea as being too dangerous.So, we fast forward and. " Try 'scared' instead of 'worried'," I snort. "Try 'petrified'." He won't be able to do anything at the funeral," Ricky reminds me."He'll be handcuffed to a prison guard the whole time. And I'll bethere. The last time the three of us were together I punched him rightin the middle of his face. I've got no problem doing that again, evenat a funeral." Okay..." I say uncertainly."Laura," Ricky says, before sighing. "No one can hate him as much asyou do, but don't forget I've got no love for the bastard even if he issupposedly my father. Not after the way he treated mum when he walkedout." ...I can't really remember that far back," I mumble."I wouldn't expect you to," Ricky shrugs. "Dad-" Robert," I say. "Call him 'Robert'." ...Robert," Ricky says. "He- he wasn't all bad when we are all livingtogether, he-" I really, REALLY don't need or want to hear this," I spit, tucking mylegs underneath me and facing away from Ricky so that he can't see thetears that are forming in my eyes."Laura-".
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