3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it, I said "Implants?" She hit me.4. I don't do drugs, I get the same effect just standing up fast.5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."6. I live in my own little world, it's OK, they know me here.7. I got a sweater for Christmas, I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal.9. I don't approve of political jokes, I've seen too many of them get elected.10. There are two sides to every divorce, his and the shithead bitch's - opps I mean witch's.11. I love being married, it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America???15. Having a smoking section in a restaurant. As we continued talking, I noticed that sitting so close to him made my heart flutter, and he could tell. He smiled as he brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. I almost lost my breath at that moment. He leaned in slowly, tilted my chin up and kissed me so passionately that I thought I might burst. He chuckled and whispered in my ear "It's okay." He brushed his lips up and down my neck as we leaned back onto the bed. His lips were so soft, just as I'd imagined. As we continued making out, his hand slowly made its way to my shirt. He lifted it up and over my head, smiling so gently at my breasts that were covered by my black lace bra. He pulled the cups away from the skin and lowered his mouth to my hard nipples. I could feel his penis getting hard against my leg. I reached up and pulled his shirt off and gently caressed his soft but strong body. As he continued fondling my breasts, my hand lowered to his bulging member. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out his huge, erect cock..
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