”“I blamed myself for her condition, and when she had the child I blamed myself for the pain and agony I inflicted on her. Matilde was in labour for two days, screaming in agony. I could not bear to hear her anguish and ran from of the house. I got back after the birth and saw the blood sodden sheets taken from her bed. She almost died, Jack, the woman I loved almost died because of my base animal lust when alongside her in bed.” He shook his head in the memory. “She must hate me, and I cannot blame her. I slept in a separate room during her confinement, and it was over six months after the birth before I allowed myself to join her in bed. My first entry into her body had her wincing in pain so I withdrew. It was a week later before I felt she was ready for me; she assured me she was, but I was so nervous of hurting her I...” Patrick part stifled a sob. “I was unmanned, and could not penetrate her. I was ashamed, and got from the bed. Matilde took from my action that I no longer loved. But the idea that two beings could be so drawn together by desire flooded me. If desire exists, surely satisfaction must also be possible. I floated on a new emotion as I found hope.What I would do for other.Of course, I had no means of doing. I was, for all intents and purposes, non-corporeal. Yet, I felt as I touched other with my mind, my awareness, that even this gave it some peace. I bathed in anger and madness when I awoke to my being, but as other tickled my consciousness into cognizance, I leapt from passion to sadness to despair to hope.I felt the soft brush of flesh on my body. The very thought of having a physical existence with which to express my emotions filled me with joy. I wanted to test my limbs as I felt them take shape. I wanted to leap, to grasp, to run, to hold. What could I do with this body that suddenly encompassed my emotions.Other skillfully, but with tenderness, bathed my body in light so pure that I wept for the sheer magnitude of my being.I could feel!.
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