The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this, shall we??Love, Your HubbyTo My Dearest Husband,I think things are a little. I instead wandered around Soho and was propositioned by men, not very nice men at that. Eventually, after a month or so a classmate of mine who was also into women took me under her wing.”“And she was your first?” Trudy asked. Della laughed out load as if it was the funniest thing she’d heard.“No, what I mean is that she took me to the bars and clubs she went to and showed me how to talk to women and how to pick up or be picked up, as well as the types of women to avoid. In no time thanks to her I was fucking almost every weekend. I lost count of the number of women I’ve slept with over the years. Natalie, my ex, was the first and only woman I’ve ever had an actual relationship with.”Della had been speaking loud enough to be clearly heard by a middle-aged couple who’d entered the restaurant after them and taken a neighbouring table. Trudy noticed them giving her and Della ‘the evil eye’ muttering something to each other which she suspected was about them and less than complimentary..
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