Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. (try not to think of people you work with)Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?Number 2 - In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world more exciting. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2016:We know. Every Boxing Day my auntie throws huge party for my large family. Everyone was drinking like usual and having a great time. It was about 2:00 am and nearly everyone had gone home. My auntie and uncle had both went to bed a couple of hours ago. Me and my cousins Anthony, John and Caitlin were the only ones left. I began to feel a little horny due to the booze and couldn't help but admire Caitlin. She is 17, only about 5ft 4" with long bright red hair. She has an amazing body due to all the dancing she does. She is known to be a bit of a slut and my mind began to fill with thoughts of screwing her.Anthony headed to bed and Caitlin and John went outside to wait for the taxi they ordered. I gave John a hug and gave Caitlin a big squeeze, feeling her perky tits press up against me. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she gave me a very cheeky wink as she left which caused my dick to twitch.I didn't fancy sleeping on the couch so I decided I was would sleep in Antony's bed with him. There.
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