" And if I didn't pick up on it?" I would have let you go. Let you carry on with this new version ofthings as the Alex Ward I convinced you you were. Just to see what youwould do. And see how long before the nagging doubts or the screamingghost of your former identity broke through to you." If it never did?" I feel like that was a distinct possibility. I wasso sure now, after all my treatment, that I had always been AlexandraWard, and the rest of it was pathology. If doubts about that came in myfuture I would have fought against them. Mr Black had turned me intohis greatest weapon against my former persona."I hadn't really thought of that as a scenario. I would have had toredirect you eventually I imagine. When I got bored with you as youwere. Like I said it was not my long term plan for you. So I couldn'tleave you to languish forever."I didn't find that heartening. Oblivious stupidity did not seems so badcompared to what he has intended for me."My nine years of prostitution? Is that. Although still young they shared a beer as their mother and I drank. Late at night she fell asleep and they helped her into bed and came back down for me.I had dozed off lying on the settee and woke up to catch them in the nude and playing with themselves watching a late night porn movie on canal.I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, 'She's fucking pissed' the older one said, 'Yeah', said the younger one, 'Lets fuck her, she's probably gagging for cock' and at that they laughed and the older boy got up and tapped me on the face, I pretended to be in a deep sleep.Then without warning and totally unexpectedly he slid his hand down my front and cupped my breast, fingering my erect nipple, 'Fucking hell, great fucking tits' and began kneading my breast as if making bread, his youth and inexperience carrying him with a sense of bravado, as my tit was pulled free from its encasement, for both boys to suckle, I lay still as my front was opened up and brassiere uncoupled, and two youthful.
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