You’re telling me that you won’t have sex because you’re not ready? I don’t understand.”“Let me clarify. With one of them, it’s not even within the realm of possibility. She’s a recovering rape victim. We’re friends. Anything beyond that isn’t even something that I could think about, and she certainly isn’t ready. With both of the others, there’s at least a possibility, but I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”“But you’ve clearly thought about it with me, true?”“I think about sex all the time! And yes, of course, I have thought about it with you. I’m pretty sure it will be amazing. And the same thing applies. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve wrecked several relationships by having sex when the girl and I weren’t on the same page. Part of that was me listening to what they said instead of being sure what they meant. Part of it was me not being able to commit because of Birgit. And part was because sex changes things in unpredictable ways.”“And you figured this all out. After a few minutes of this mutualadmiration society meeting, music started and we found ourselves on thedance floor. For the first time in my life I was in the arms of a man andloved it. We danced every dance together, not that some of the guysdidn't ask me to dance with them, they did, but I refused. Just before the last dance Vince took me out to the patio. I knew wherethis was going and was ready for it. He took me in his strong arms andpulled me to him, as out lips met...beep. Beep...download completed.What the hell? I came fully awake and realized that I had dozed off, andthe whole thing was a dream, a very realistic dream. I was still in myroom, at my computer downloading porn.I went to the bathroom to throw some water on my face.I walked out to the hall and realized that it was still early andKathleen was getting ready for her date with Ken. Mom was getting readyto go as a chaperone. Wow, that dream was so realistic; I now realizedwhy the gown fit me so well and why.
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