" I put my head in my hands so I wouldn't have to look at the honesty in Alec's face. "I'm scared of my dreams, of ... of the flashbacks." I breathed, my chest tight, "There was a moment when I thought ... but it wasn't him. I'm so screwed up. Maxie deserves better."I was surprised to find Alec holding my hand, more surprised to find myself in tears."Let Maxie decide what he deserves. Here," Alec handed me a card, "I think you should go and talk to my friend. He has a standing appointment booked for you. If you take the bus now you'll get there in time." But..." How could I tell my secrets to a stranger? It had taken me ages to even think of telling Maxie, and I was in love with him. Even in my head the words hurt. I was in love with Maxie, and I walked away from him. How was I going to explain anything to a total stranger?"Trust me. Go." Alec stood and took my cold un-drunk team "Come back after. I'll make you some lunch."I sat on the bus, rolling towards the sea, and words I heard. "What the fuck," I whispered.Either Trish was in my brother's room after whacking herself off or, well she hadn't been whacking off at all but Tommy was keeping her warm at nights. I kept an ear out but no other sounds came to me and at last I slept.I had a lot to think about, not that I blamed my siblings from doing whatever they were doing for after the accident when our parents had died, I'm sure they needed all the comfort they could get."Morning Twin," said Tommy next morning when I did finally get up."Morning," but there was nothing good about it for after twelve hour sleep I felt dreadful."If you're up to it we'll have a few friends around tonight," he said, "celebrate your homecoming." Sure," I groaned."I'll invite a few girlies for you to molest too," he laughed."Sound fun," I said."I've already asked Trish to find some for us," he said.By the evening I was feeling much better, mostly because I had a pretty girl in my arms and I had downed a few beers. Trish I notice looked.
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