“Richard” said Bob Blobluto, “This is Bob Blobluto.” “Oh hi Bob!” said Richard Widemouth in a voice that sounded genuinely surprised, “How’s that can coming along?” “It’s full. 85 percent “76 trombones”, 10 percent “Theme from Rocky” five percent warm up and tuning.” replied Bob Blobluto. “It’s all out of my Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone“Yeah cool. I gotta get a label made up. When can I pick the can up?” asked Richard Widemouth in a brotherly voice that reeked of condescension.“Well,” replied Bob Blobluto “I’m getting ready to jack off. Stop over after four. I’ll be done slappin’ the hog by then.”“Cool!” Said Richard Widemouth “I’ll hook you up with this dude Leroy Shempkowski. He jams a mean “Theme from Rocky” and he’s learning “76 Trombones”. He wants to jam with you.”“Cool” said Bob Blobluto “I’d suck on his seed blaster too, unless he’s a fat ass.”“Oh, he’s not fat” offered Richard Widemouth in a voice that cracked with a custard sound. “He’d let you slurp on his. "Professor! That's not fair! Both sides are tails!" At least you learned something in my class today, Mr. Weasley. Now let's get started."McGonagall called for volunteers from each house, and as usual Hermione put up her hand, as did Pansy on behalf of Slytherin. McGonagall instructed the girls to take the jugs of vinegar from the side table and distribute the contents among the class."No more than a few ounces to each student," said McGonagall. The last thing she needed was a drunk student wandering through the halls. Hermione and Pansy, each carrying a jug, walked about the classroom pouring a small amount into the flasks at each table. As Hermione poured some vinegar into Crabbe's flask, she heard the stupid boy attempt a witticism."Maybe after you graduate you can get a job at the Three Broomsticks," said Crabbe with a smirk. "Although I think the Hog's Head is more your level." Why, thank you for your career advice," said Hermione quietly. "Maybe you can write me a letter of.
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