I didn't see it until the clothes were falling toward the basket, but as soon as I saw it I knew what it was and a cold hand clutched at my heart. I reached down into the basket and pulled them out for a closer look. No mistake — none — there was lipstick on Ryan's underpants. My first impulse was to grab something and go over to the bed and wail on Ryan and probably the only reason I didn't was that if he was in the hospital I couldn't get the story. I took his briefs with me and went into the kitchen where I sipped coffee and waited for Ryan to get up.I am not a patient person. I was on my fourth cup of coffee and Ryan was still in bed so I soaked a dishrag in cold water and went back into the bedroom. Holding the rag over his head I squeezed it and watched the water fall on him and then had the pleasure of seeing him sit up sputtering. "What the --, God damn it Joyce, what did you do that for?" For the fun of it asshole. Get your sorry ass out of bed; you and I have some talking. • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he canstop any time• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.• When chemists die, they barium.• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.• Velcro - what a rip off!• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t.
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