But I think the term good looking is someone else’s personal choice, and not mine to make. I met Sarah through unusual circumstances; a coal mining accident at Llandroes colliery. I was a good friend and workmate of her late husband, Mike. There had been a few accidents recently; too many for my liking, but I had somehow managed to avoid them. I was on a day’s unpaid leave when the accident that took Mike’s life, happened. I should have been there with him. In fact, it should have been me and not him. I never had the strength to ask anyone whether Mike had volunteered for that shift while I was away. It would have hurt too much to know the truth. Sarah and I got to know each other from the grief we both shared. Eventually the grief led to friendship and then something else started to materialise. Something that neither of us realised was happening until it was too late. At twenty five years my junior, I didn’t understand what she saw in me. It didn’t occur to me that such a young. Viewed in this way the rituals can be seen as two interconnecting cycles, a ‘micro-cycle’ and a ‘macro-cycle’. The ‘micro-cycle’ would be the cycle of stages and their related activities that take place within a single encounter between Kali and Shiva. The ‘macro-cycle’ is the cycle of ritual that takes place over a whole relationship between Kali and Shiva. The former is clearly defined and time limited but each encounter contributes to the development of the slave and his rite of passage that forms the larger cycle. The ‘macro-cycle’ will be developed over a whole relationship, perhaps over a period of years. It is likely to be punctuated by rites that have special meaning and significance.The other advantage of seeing the rite of passage as cyclical is that it is not a simple straight line and more accurately reflects practise. It allows for the possibility for the slave to move back around the circle. The slave does not move forward in easy steps in a linear way. He will.
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