Sometimes, I fight. I pretend to dislike the things I did not like beforeI changed. But it is a lie. My head does not believe it no matter howmuch I try to think negatively." So last night..." I started. She looked down into her cup and nodded. "Solast night. You said that it was the woods. That something was happeningdown behind the school." Yes. It is hard to talk about with you. You see, some part of me isembarrassed to say this even though other parts of me feel perfectlynormal. After I changed, shortly after, I found out that I had a boy Iwas seeing. A nice boy, really. He was very kind and gentle and he didnot pressure me at first for acting strange. And I was lonely. So when Ithought into the memories of Nadia, I knew that we had been physical forquite some time. So I continued, at first it felt strange, being a girland having sex and kissing a man and feeling his beard scratch my face.But only briefly, and in his embrace I felt a little relief for theloneliness. I hope you do. I don’t think her confession changes that. Which means I can’t just go over there and claim her. She’s not mine to claim. Only to win, though even then... He took a sip of his tepid coffee, frowned at its bitterness, then rose to press the microwave into service. How long have I been sitting here?The storm howled and moaned. He smiled at an aural memory. The sulfurous stench of room temperature eggs tickled his nose. Shaking his head, he added them to the reheating queue.She’s not mine, but she’s not his, either. Not exclusively. Not anymore.The microwave beeped. He exchanged the eggs for a steaming cup of caffeinated velocity.Does that mean she’s ours? What if one of us doesn’t want to share? Or what if she doesn’t want to be shared? What then?He took a sip, physically satisfied but existentially troubled. The coffee was a pale shadow of what it had once been, but it no longer mattered.I know what I feel, I know what she feels, I’m pretty sure I know what Bill feels, but I don’t.
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