I gave him a shy laugh and said I touhgt the same of you..wher your from Mohammed? I am Moroccan, but born here in the Netherlands. I wondered what he was doing in a gay bar as a man with a north African background, because the most don’t wanna show themselves and be seen with gay men. Mohammed told me he lived in another town and drove sometimes to other citrus where no one knows him. But he said he diddent care what others think of him , as long as he can be what he wants to be.We talked about gay life and he was most interrested what part I wanna be in a relationship. He said that to him it must be clear what a boyfriends role must be in a relationship. I told Mohammed that a boyfriend in a relationship as a bottom , must Have a supporting and submissive role. That’s the first right answer I have heard in years he said. I apologised myself to him and said” Mohammed isn’t that old fashion? Mohammed answered, no Norberth I believe that the role between friends , being top and bottom. I went on to tell him that i could never come out to my family because my dad would want me dead, i would shame his name.I fought back tear while explaining to him how my own preacher has made me come very close to committing suicide because of the way he preaches about homosexuality,to think that I'm going to hell for desires i didn't ask for its not fair. I told him about the nights i have cried myself to sleep because my prayers of being straight had not been answered. I told him everything even about jay and what i had been going through with him. I wanted him to know he could never understand what gay/bi people go through he has never had to question his sexuality he is what he is suppose to be in the eyes of God and the world. He yelled " stop!, i can't take this shit no more bruh, its too depressing", he looked at me as a older brother would look at his troubled little brother and said. "I sorry i never understood being gay wasn't a choice, i never tried to be insensitive but.
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