Iwrapped my arms around myself, trying to give myself something to holdonto.??I?m so sorry?I?m so sorry?I kissed you?it was so wrong?my patheticlittle life got me to that point, all my loneliness and sadness justgot the best of me?I?m so sorry?you must hate me??Sobbing slightly, I wiped my runny nose on my sleeve.Gary?s voice was eerily strong and quiet.?I could never hate you, Michael.??And you were so?so gracious about it?you let me kiss you and hug youand feel your warmth and you inspired me to keep practicing?and I waswearing a bra, and I had breasts?and I shouldn?t say this as a man,but?but I?it?s just that I?I loved it?it made me feel better, havingit on?having the bra on?having breasts?and you supported me and workedwith me and held my hips when I needed it and?you were touching memore, again?and I don?t get that in my house?in my life?which soundsso pathetic, doesn?t it?...and I was hitting the ball so muchbetter!...and then after, when we stepped outside, to smoke. Betty had never been out on a date with a dark-skinned boy in her entire life.The simple fact was that no black boy had ever asked her to go out in a social setting. She had a way of looking down her nose at males of color and just giving them that look that said, “Don’t you dare to even come close, Mister, because I will cry rape and you will spend the rest of your life in State prison.”Black boys knew enough to stay away from her despite the fact she had one of those special white-girl asses that simply cried out, “Stick that long black dick in me, big boy and make me call you “Daddy!”When she was first working for the local bank, Betty had ridden in a sedan with Buck Jones and he was about as black as the inside of a coal mine at midnight. She wrinkled up her pretty nose and pretended that he was her chauffeur and she was the one giving the orders. Actually, she was his junior and he wrote her performance reviews every three months because that was his job as the collection.
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