He wasn't surprised that TJ and Morg multitasked as they talked with him. When asked about the Prince, TJ answered,"I'd just flown the first trip and Morg had done co-pilot and loadmaster ( a truly evil laugh). My turn at that. I was turning and getting out of the left seat and here's this kid eyeballing me from the third seat. Now I know what the expression 'scared me to death' means; 'where did you come from?' and he points at the upper litter; who the Hades are you?' and as cool as you like 'Harold Winsor, I'm the heir. How do you do?' reaches over and shakes my hand and then Morg's. There's a loud pounding on the hatch so I grab the kid getting out, Morg changes over, I plonk the kid down on the third seat and work the hatch. He watches everything I do. I stack the bodies in tight, strap the kid in and do the co-pilot thing. I swear the kid didn't miss a thing. We match on the other side, I unstrap the kid, work the hatch and then throw him out first and get onto the rest of. So the sitting and thinking part was already there.The problem was that all I could think about were the people, including kids, who were the inevitable side effect of combat operations. I grieved for them all, but the ones who I caused were the ones who haunted me. I couldn’t get away from the torment of guilt, no matter what Mother Superior Mary tried to do to teach me.I went through a whole year of that before, one day, I felt the guilt just fade away. It was as if the guilt was water drops, and the sun made them evaporate, except it happened faster than sunlight would dry a swimmer.I thought it was God, answering my prayers. Maybe he did, and just used a “hug” from Bobby Wilson to do it.The problem with the concept of God’s grace is that even after the priest says you are forgiven, sometimes you don’t feel worthy of that forgiveness. And while the pain of guilt had vanished, the memories of what caused that guilt had not.So the guilt came back. It wasn’t as bad as before, but it.
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