?But it was no use. I couldn?t move my head even a millimetre; Beth hadseen to that! Then the magnitude of what I had done hit me. I had placed my completetrust in Beth to come back and release me. It was a huge responsibility toplace upon anyone.? My mind started toplay tricks with me, I knew that I loved Beth and she loved me but I started todoubt that in those early moments of my imprisonment. ?What if she doesn?t love me and she did this but is not coming back tolet me go.? I thought.? For a few momentsI almost panicked and started to struggle again. It was of course futile and I subsided into utter desolation. But I found that I couldn?t stop the thoughts rushing through my mind. ? What if someone else finds me??. I thought. ?What will they do? Willthey call the police??? These and allkinds of other ideas raced through my head. Then I heard a noise and hoped it was Beth coming back early. I heard the sound again and realised it was the rain drumming on theplatform?s glass roof.. My eyes were wet; it would have been so damn easy to simply start weeping, right in front of him. But I didn't want to do that; with an effort of will I pulled myself together. "Did you ever... ?" I began. I couldn't finish the sentence." ... kill somebody?" he completed it for me. "Yes. And thinking back, I'd do it again, in a heartbeat. But I had the same reaction, afterwards. Same as you. In one way it was worse for me, it was a woman, not a man—or men, for you. For a long time I wondered, what if she wouldn't have fired? But she had a gun pointed right at me, she was scum, and I really had no choice." A woman," I mused. "That's hard, Richard." There've been others since," he said. "Both men, but more or less the same circumstances. I've hated it every time. But that's what we do. My people, I mean. I've been ready to kill, every time." Have you ever stood over one, one who was helpless, and just ... shot?" I asked suddenly.He shot me a sharp look. Then recognition flooded his.
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