The insecure part of me, the not-so-little nagging judge and critic who always told me I was too small and insignificant, too weak, too ugly, too slow and imprecise in my proofs, too clumsy ... the inescapable voice who had believed every last poisonous statement my cousins and schoolmates had ever said about me, and repeated them to me in the worst possible moment, bolstered with perfect knowledge of my every failure and disappointment for its evidence, and formed into the best arguments I could build, kept insisting Fiona had just told me that to console me and get me out of that silly tantrum. The problem was, I knew Fiona for a person of her word, as she had reminded me only yesterday. She might deceive or mislead an enemy, or misdirect someone in service of a higher goal, but I couldn’t imagine her fabricating a love declaration to someone as devoted to her as she knew me to be.That was the other thing I was unsure about. After she told me how transparent I had been regarding. She was right, I knew she was, we looked like two hot girls ready for anight out but that was just the thing, we were not two girls and I wasn'tready for this.N: I?m sorry Susan, I really am, but I can't go out like this.Trying to calm me down, Susan hugged me and I accepted her warm embrace.S: OK, maybe you are right, maybe you are not ready yet... But you willbe.N: I don't know, this is all new to me. I really like hanging out withyou and I do love the way you?ve made me look, but...S: No buts!Her hands dropped to the small of my back while mine remained on hershoulders, she was holding me tight as we stared at each other.S: You are beautiful and I am certain that there is a girl in there,ready to come out, just look at you.I was speechless, all I did was blush flaming red and stare at her. Shetook the initiative and kissed my lips as she squeezed us together.This was my first kiss, I was being kissed by this beautiful girl thatseemed to be really interested in me, but all I could.
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