Tom hadtaken a half day off from work to see his wife off and because Monday, 18Feb, was a federal holiday he had almost three full days to himself.He pulled out the medallion again and looked at it.Should he or shouldn't he?At last, with the decision made, Tom went out to his jeep his heart racingwith excitement. Tom opened the Jeep door and took the light blue knithat from his glove box. This was Anna's hat and she'd left it in his jeepalmost two months earlier. Tom took the hat and the medallion and went upto his bedroom. He hadn't been this excited since his first night landingon an aircraft carrier! Many people thought Navy pilots where crazy andmaybe they're right, Tom thought. But he couldn't help it, he craved theexcitement, and his life was just so boring these days.Now standing in the bathroom in a pair of boxers Tom looked at hisreflection in the mirror. He was and extremely fit 40 not as much due todiet as his obsession with exercise. His closely cropped brown. But still, I was drawn to watch, some troubling masochistic flaw drawing me back time after time. Each time I saw their lips touch, or saw a look exchanged or some new physical high reached, I’d die a little more inside.But each time I’d watch until I couldn’t bear it any longer, and I’d walk away, without the strength even to turn the monitor off.Watching their coupling and growing physical intimacy was bad enough, but listening and watching as they cuddled and shared the quiet whisperings of lovers afterward was even worse. Because this was two people, rather than two bodies, growing closer together. And each time I watched this, a huge question occupied each cortex and synapse of my brain.I knew Sue loved me. You don’t simply stop loving someone after twenty years. But love is a fickle thing, and after seven days it was perfectly possible that Sue would be unwilling to give Brandon up. Or that she’d return home and tell me that because of my own stupidity, whatever I wanted, she.
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