Very calmly she asked, ’Do you masturbate?’ 
I froze. Had I heard her correctly? I stammered a weak, umm yeah, I guess, sometimes . As strange and confusing as her question was, her response was even stranger. She smiled and said almost under her breath and to herself, “Oh, lovely, Yes. I bet you do it a lot, don't you?” I didn't know if I was supposed to answer so I think I just made a kind of ‘mmmmmhuh’ noise.

Then as quick as a flash, things became quite normal. She changed her toned and stood up saying cheerfully “Okey dokie, let's do a resting BP, your temperature and then a few quick measurements and you can go".
The end was in sight. I thought with relief.
She took my pulse and blood pressure and then said, Ok, if you could stand up for me and turn around.I stood, so that she was stood behind me. She measured my arms and chest using a tape measure. Each time she made a slow and rather touchy performance of how she reach around my body with the measuring tape. She did. Stan could only nod. ‘Are you always this up-front about things, Denise?’ he asked her when he’d recovered a little. ‘Oh, no, Stan. I can be demure when I want,’ she answered, looking up from under her lashes at him. Stan’s heart thumped at the sight, and he stood, reaching out to her. ‘I think that, before I devote myself to my other girlfriend, this girlfriend might like a demonstration of how much I love her,’ he said, tenderly. Denise smiled, eyes now dancing with anticipation. She let herself be drawn to her feet and embraced him, offering her lips up to be kissed – an offer which Stan did not refuse. Before they could get too carried away, however, Denise gently disengaged and eased away from him. ‘Not now, Stan. This day should be for Anne. I’ll have my share another day – but your girlfriend needs you, now. She’s been under a lot of stress, you know, and an unconventional relationship hasn’t helped. I’m going to go now, and you can get yourself ready – I’ve already told her.
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