" a heavy load seemed to have settled on his shoulders. "I'm ashamed of myself for even suggesting something like that."Inexplicably, another phrase came into my mind from what he'd said earlier: 'I know things have been hard for you... 'Suddenly, my troubles didn't seem so bad after all. All I was missing was money. For a little over two years, he had been missing the most precious thing in his life. He never went out, except to the gym, and though he seemed pleasant enough around us, there was always a shadow behind his eyes. All one had to do to see it, was look.I sat beside him on the bed and put my arm around him, or tried to, but barely reached the other side of his broad back."I'm sorry Mr. Jenkins. I should not have dressed like this." I said softly, noting idly that while he was at least thirty years older than me, he wasn't bad looking, "I was so absorbed with my own problems, I didn't think what it must be like for you. Do you miss her terribly?"He turned to look at me with. "Oh I've decided that we'll consult with a therapist to discuss yourgender confusion," she replied. "We will take his advice about when toend it. In the meantime you'll stay in girl's clothes out of school." But Mum," I replied. "I can't go outside or play with my friends likethis." You should have thought of that before you raided your sister'swardrobe," she said unsympathetically as she cooked dinner. "It's afilthy perversion to wear your sister's clothes and we need to get tothe bottom of it."So I had to get used it. By day I wore my school uniform to school andin the evenings and weekends I was expected to wear my new girlyclothes. That increasingly included trips outside shopping and trips tomy relatives who were shocked to find what had happened.Of course I had to take out an earrings when I went to school but mymother insisted that I put in gold hoops or long dangly earrings when Iwas in "girl" mode. I wore a baseball cap as often as I could to concealmy growing styled hair.
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