" She cut me off with a laugh. "Down boy! Public party first, private party later." She danced lightly out of range of my mock grab, and laughed again. = = = I offered her my arm as walked towards the house. Though we were early, the closer parking was already taken. Laughter drifted around from the terrace in the rear. "Remember, don't let me drink too much." Her expression was half serious. Shelly has almost no capacity for drinking -- even a glass of wine turns her giddy; it also tends to make her very, very, horny. More than two, though, and she gets sleepy, almost comatose. I laughed at her, "One or two, no more. I have plans for you, my dear." She made a face back at me as I put on my best leer. I *would* keep an eye on her, not that she usually needs it; she'd learned the hard way how little tolerance her body has for drinking. = = = A young man, one of the college boys Rob had hired to help with the party, let us in. After a. Write those same words down and there’s a good chance that a previously comprehensible sentence will become confusing as hell. Unfortunately, when you read back your own words it’s tough not to ‘hear’ the emphasis you intended, so unless you’re very careful you can end up with text that reads just fine to you, while leaving other people scratching their heads. An important part of the art of writing, then, is making it completely clear what you mean using text alone. In my opinion, that’s the main trick you should be looking to pull work to turn your first draft into a polished story.To start with, take things a sentence at a time, then move on to looking at how sentences work with each other, and finally to do a paragraph-level analysis. I think the following checklist provides a good starting point for critiquing any unit of writing you’re examining:Can it be clearer?Can it be simpler?Can it be shorter?If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, then it doesn’t immediately.
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