She came out to sit beside me on the low wall overlooking the garden, we both loved this house and I knew what she was going to say even before she said it. “I know what we can do,” she said with her head on my shoulder.“I thought you had a date tonight?”“I did, I cancelled it.”“You shouldn’t have.”’“Well I have.” Her voice rose, “I happen to be very much in love with you, you muppet.”“I’m going to do the escort thing.”“Talk me through it.”“Well, I’ve already rung Don and Jane and I asked them to come over so Don can take some photos of me, tasteful ones and just a few sexy ones, I’ll work on a web page, put an advert online, and Bob’s your uncle.”“How much are you going to charge?”“£250 an hour.”“Wow, that’s a lot of money.”“Not really,” Wendy smiled, “Do you remember Nicole?”“Oh yes,” I grinned, “I remember Nicole.”Nicole had been one of our swinging friends who’d joined us in our bed at a hotel one night.“I thought you might,” she laughed, “Well she was telling me that the agency. "Tell me you (hic!) ... you didn't (hic!)... Damn!" she said, clenching her teeth in frustration.She tried again. "(Hic!)" she said. Then she nodded and pointed down at him."You did!" she accused him. Then she burst into laughter again. "You hee-hee-hee-hee-hee... really did..." She buried her head in the pillow, trying desperately to stop her maniacal laughter. After another minute, she was able to get her hysterics under control."I'm sorry, darling," Tanya whimpered weakly, wiping her eyes. "It's just that..." She closed her mouth and put her hand over her face, trying not to break out laughing again."It's just that," she began again, "all these torture devices you've been buying for me, and then you get one of those..." She started laughing again, but she was able to stop after a few seconds. Then she sighed, seeing the anguished frustration on his face."Here. Let me help you get this off, okay?" she offered, bending down toward his codpiece. She was right. Tiny drops of blood.
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