Everything went black, and I woke up, there were flashing yellow and red lights, and blue ones.“A lady, I think she might have been a paramedic, I heard her saying something about ‘another doll’ as if that made sense, I looked around, and I saw where the firemen were cutting the roof off of the car, and I was lying there, I looked down and I saw that I seemed to be in the body of the doll that I had bought, and was taking home to my little sister.“She put me back in a plastic bag, and then I think she put everything in the ambulance to take with to the hospital. I closed my eyes, well, what’s the use of looking at the inside of a plastic bag, and then I heard a noise, and I opened my eyes to see you with a torch and that gun.”I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, but I also heard something, and there you were sitting in that chair.”I told her, “if you want, everything around here works, don’t ask me how or why, but it all does, so go take a shower if you need to, if that. Who wouldn't be suspicious? Sex and my mother were like cars for geese. She didn't know what sex was, where it came from, or that it was in anyway related to her body. Sex was a sin, end of conversation.Orgasms were a very different fish. I'd hear her screaming every other day or night, projecting all the usual uppercase, extended vowels, regardless if she were alone or with some guy who had talked his way upstairs into her bedroom. (I slept in the living room.) If a man could speak an intelligible sentence she'd spread her legs, which is not as welcoming as it sounds. It kept away a lot of drunks. My mom is more innocent than angels and more fucked than Satan's bride.Yes, yes, I digress and digress again. Get use to it. For such a dumb person, mom is amazingly complex. I didn't realize her true intelligence, though, until she told me one thing on that dull, Sunday afternoon."Charlie, you must think your mother is the dumbest girl in the world." She said, speaking in her usual half.
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