I know, I'll rig a camera in the vestry and get a tape, or a disk, of him slamming the salami next Friday. Thanks, Sebastian, er, you wouldn't like to help me, would you?'And that's how I came to join the Chapel choir, so as to be able to help Smee get some dirt on the vicar.It turned out to be a very good move because the choir mistress was none other than the horny blonde who took her nightly pleasure with a dildo and old copies of 'Detective' and who, I was sure, would appreciate the sort of sexual activity I had in mind. I was wondering how to get the cuddly blonde woman alone when, on my third attendance at choir practice, she surprised me by asking me to remain behind after the evening session.'Don't worry', she told the bored warden, I'll make sure that the young offender is returned to his room before lights out. I need some help in sorting the hymn books and I'm sure Sebastian will be able to assist me.'I could hardly believe my luck when, after we had tidied up the hymn. I returned to thepresent."How long will I be stuck with this lot?" The usual - about two weeks, unless we remove it with the solventfirst. But Ingrid needs to know how long these prosthetics will last.Feel free to treat them roughly - I mean, with a rigorous make-upregime, not shaving, obviously! You won't be the only guinea pig, bythe way. We think the adhesive will break down more quickly for somepeople than for others - we all have different amounts of natural oilsin our skin - so we need to test it quite widely. I think your motherhas invited some of her regular clients to try it out, free of charge." She'll probably get a queue of guys wanting to be Marilyn Monroe."It took her twenty minutes to glue all the prosthetic pieces on. Afamiliar face was starting to appear over my own. My nose and mouthwere now shaped differently and my cheekbones seemed to have moved. Bythe time she'd finished, the prostheses had covered virtually all myface and neck. It was like wearing a.
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