With which to send 'Ralph' to whatever afterlife it is that dead plants go so he could meet the proverbial 'Burning Bush' personally. Five minutes later, I came back carrying a trash-bag containing everything that was even remotely toxic in my garage; and then, one at a time, I maliciously emptied the contents of every container in the bag onto 'Ralph'. The last thing I remember pouring on him was a bottle of white shoe polish. Don't ask me how it had ended up in my garage, I have no idea! Anyway, by the time the last bottle was emptied, 'Ralph' was covered with enough rat-poison, snake killer, motor oil, transmission fluid, bug spray, window cleaner, hand cleaner, tire cleaner, bleach and yes, shoe polish, to kill a small city. "Scream you bastard!" I said yelled furiously. Nothing! Defiant to the end, he didn't even groan! I fetched my garden-hose, turned on the water, and from five feet away, threw a match on 'Ralph'. First there was a loud puffing sound. That was followed by. What if I am not enough? What if he isn’t turned on by me? What if I am not able to satisfy him or him me? I “what if” the minutes away as I park and grab my bag and head towards the hotel. Was I ready to let someone know me intimately again? Let him see the “me” that I had hidden and pushed aside for so many years? Only one other man had ever seen me, been with me in the last twenty years and he let me down, betrayed my trust, rejected me. Was I ready to open myself up to someone else, even if it was just to give him my body and to take pleasure in his use of it? I guess I am, I think to myself as I text him to let him know I am in the lobby. I nervously glance around, wondering if he is secretly watching me. My phone vibrates and I glance down at it and read his text. It just contains his room number, so I head to the elevators. I watch the numbers rise as the elevator moves past each floor; I feel my nervousness rise even more. I think of all our online conversation and feel.
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