.. Yes I did. I can't remember the last time I've had so much fun as I've experienced over the last week with you."Mom's words touched my heart, and I pulled her closer with the arm that dangled over her shoulder. I felt compelled to stop and embrace her body. I wanted to feel that magical kiss once again, but I didn't.We engaged in more small talk as I drove Mom home and found myself interested in all she said. Mom began to tell me stuff she never mentioned before. She was opening herself up and telling me her hopes and dreams. The stuff a mother and son wouldn't discuss so openly, and I found myself remembering back to when Jess, and I had these conversations.Mom suddenly stopped her talking as I pulled up the driveway and saw why. Dad was washing a bright-red vet. I read Mom's face as her show of happiness quickly faded."Christ what did he do now." I heard Mom say as she stepped out of the car without even saying good-bye.Jennie was sleeping in the back, and I felt I should leave. We talked, drank, and flirted, and I had the time of my life. We met repeatedly over the next week, and on the fourth date, I seduced him. I was on birth control, but it was a bad batch, later recalled. The third time we made love, I convinced him to let me tie him up, but I got carried away. I'd had a bad day, some petty harassment by a male professor, and I lost control. When I released him, he ran, refusing to see me again. He'd responded to the abuse, you see, and he couldn't cope with it. He killed himself within a week."A week after the funeral, I missed my period, and found out I was pregnant. It was his, there'd been no other man for several months before, and none since, until William. I tried women, once, and it was a failure, so I've been without sex, and nearly without love, ever since."I reached over, and brushed my mothers tears away, then pulled her close to me. "I always wondered, but never asked. I don't know if it was to respect your privacy, or because I somehow.
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