.. not to... I mean... that's what I've heard... that's what I meant" Ohhh John... of course there are ways... but don't you understand? Don't you see how much I love you? I love you so much that I want to have your child, I want to bear the fruit of our love. You know I've always wanted many children, but Michael didn't have the time to stay with me... he died so soon. I have missed a man by my side for so long, someone to love and care for, someone to enjoy pleasures as well as sorrows, someone to share parenthood with. Now you darling can be all this, my new loved husband. If not married to me, then at least the father of my children, head of the family. You are my man from now on, and I am you're woman... I love you John and I want to be together with you for the rest of my life... I care for you soo much..."There was silence... we were both thinking... I knew that want I wanted could never be true... he wouldn't be mine for always... I would grow old... soon age would show it's. She settled back into her seat and put the pillow to the window once more. She closed her eyes to rest once again. Nancy thought back from the moment she left home for Stanford leaving her strict parents behind her. She drove her 1989 Toyota Camry to California feeling free for the first time in her life. Her parents being religious zealots, her first stop to fill her tank, she bought a pack of cigarettes. Lighting up, Nancy took off feeling like she was a bird who had been caged then was able to fly out the little door and out of the house.The feeling of being stifled lifted as she listened to the local rock stations at full blast. It was a refreshing change from the somber music her mother always had on. Not that she disliked Wagner and the other composers, this was a difference that she felt the freedom of leaving a depressing home.Her parents were overly strict with her but she was never abused mentally or physically.She felt like she were claustrophobic in that house. Even when.
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