But Reed hadn't mentioned Evan's name once, she just kept talking about Trevor himself. He tried to get a word in edgewise, at least to thank her for her sympathy, but couldn't do much more than squeeze out a few words in between Reed's monologue."We wanted to do something for you, Trev," she was saying. "Something special. And I thought, well, you know -- something you really wanted, something you'd remember. Just in case --" Reed bowed her head, no longer looking him in the face. "Just in case something happened, and you -- you weren't able to -- you weren't around long enough to --" The last few words came out in between muffled sobs. Trevor saw that Cat was crying too, a thin, shiny trail of tears crossing her cheeks."Look, I don't..." he started to say, to tell them that he wasn't the one who needed special attention. By now he had a vague inkling that the girls had somehow confused Evan's illness with him, but he wasn't sure, and he didn't want to sound like a fool by blurting. As derogatory terms. I did not use them butlaughed along with them for fear they would turn on me. Even so, one ortwo of the guys would ask if I was gay since I dressed for Halloween. Butseveral defended me saying it was only during Halloween. Besides, I was agood ballplayer and was usually picked second or third for the team. Inaddition, my biggest defended was Robert, and he was the best player atall sports.When I was home, I thought about the excitement I felt looking at thesemagazines. I felt ashamed and tried to stop looking at them. I keptthinking about what my Dad was doing with them but was afraid to ask mymom. As it turned out, I would find out, sooner than I thought.It was a rainy Friday when my Dad was on another business trip. My momsaid, "Jackie, sweetheart, I think it is a good time for a girly weekend.This time just put on your pink lace panties and meet me in my bedroom."It had been a while since I dressed, and I was nervous about startingagain. However, it was about.
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