.. I don't hate them. I thought you had turned them against me though. You were really out in outer space and I had no idea what you told them but they seemed to think it was all my fault and I just said "fuck it" and quit bothering them." I never turned them against you. You were so angry they couldn't talk to you. You actually frightened Kirsten. She was afraid you were going to do something violent. And Beverly; she was so upset she forbid Rick from letting you talk to your grandchildren. That's how bad it was Geoff." Too fuckin' bad. I don't need their approval. Let 'em suck up to you." I spat."What is the matter with you? Are you going to live the rest of your life with all this hate for me bottled up inside of you? You won't live past sixty if you do. It'll eat you alive." she almost shouted at me.I looked in her eyes and for a second, I thought I could see a flicker of fear. Why did she care about me? She had flushed me away like a used tampon and now she was telling me she was. "Well, I had to walk in my new high heeled shoes. Surprisingly, it waseasier than I thought.Janet said, "You're a natural."I didn't know how to take this comment, so I chose to ignore it. I wasvery careful going down the stairs. It's one thing walking about thefloor; it's another thing going down stairs.Janet sat me down and started me asking all sorts of questions, like,"So, what will we call you?" What do you mean?" Your name, of course?" You know my name." Not when you're dressed like that, I don't." Well, I don't know. You choose, if you must." Let me see, I think you look like an Anna, so that's what I think I'llcall you. Is that okay?" If you insist in giving me a female name, it will do, I suppose."Other questions included, "Do you like the clothes you are wearing?" What about your lingerie? Is it too frilly or not frilly enough?" Would you prefer satin and lace or plain cotton lingerie?"I was in such a state that all I could say, "It's all fine."This was taken by Janet to mean.
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