My silence was my answer. ‘Why?’ Billy asked. I shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ I replied, suddenly feeling ashamed of my nasty habit. ‘The nightmares… They did something to me. The nightmares themselves didn’t seem that bad, but waking up, I was terrified, out of breath, feeling like I was having a heart attack.’ ‘Why didn’t you tell us this?’ Ronnie demanded, clearly angry at me. I shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ I told him. ‘It’s a weakness. The day I’d first cut myself, a switch in my head had been flicked. Instead of feeling horror, I felt nothing. I became addicted to it. It was the only way to release the pressure that was feeling.’ ‘Damn it, Lance,’ Billy growled. ‘Look,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry, but at first, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I was doing. It felt normal to me.’ ‘Are you stupid?’ Ronnie demanded. ‘How could you possibly think that self mutilation is normal?’ ‘I’m sorry,’ I said again, ‘But I felt I had to deal with this on my own.’ ‘So what does Maranda say. The walls of her throat convulsed around the girth of my helmet and her body started to spasm. I drove more of my length in, sliding back only to push deeper and deeper. I made sure not slide back far enough for her to breathe. I fucked her throat, inching in with each thrust till the hilt was almost kissing her lips. Her lids flickered open and I saw her eyes roll back into her skull. The relatively unbruised right side of her face turned purple through lack of oxgen. She retched violently, and I felt the tingling sensation of something rising up against my blockage. I let go. Her head snapped back in instinctive recoil. Vomit flew out – all over my cock, down my trousers, on my shoes. Everywhere. “Look what you’ve done,” I said pinching her bruised cheek, “Didn’t your Daddy ever teach you any manners?” I plunged back into her throat, squelching and sloshing through all that her gagging brought up. In, out, in, out. More vomit arose, but she couldn’t splutter it out anymore..
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