The truth was, I was terrified of sex. Afraid I would get it wrong; afraid I would look ridiculous, afraid I would still be a virgin at the age of 40! Yet when it was just me I was the complete opposite. I would explore my sexuality from every angle. Starting with finding the clitoris and ending with finding multiple orgasms! Starting slow, I would build up until I reached such a sexual peak that I would explode with moans and howls, hands all over myself, waves of pleasure reaching every part of my body. To me this was heaven. I couldn’t imagine anything better. That was until I met Tom. We locked eyes on one of my rare nights out and I knew that I was going to have him. Even with my naivety and inexperience with sex, I pursued him. I wanted him to be inside me and doing all those things I could do so wonderfully to myself, to me. He took me to his flat and I could feel the excitement rising, I was already wet with anticipation; before I’d even walked through the door.. But anytime you want me to hold you, I will. I hope you know that I’m happy to do that.”Do you get why I adore this guy? I picked up Dan’s hand from where it was sitting on the table and looked straight into his eyes. I could have said thank you again, but instead I looked into his eyes and tried to send him psychic messages about how much I loved him. A bit of my brain was trying to remember having pushed him away last night. Nope! Drawing a blank there! Damn! How can I fix this when I don’t know what I did? Damn! Damn!“I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m fine now, truly I am.”The waiter chose that moment to arrive with our meals. “Your steak, sir ... and the salmon for your lady friend.”A little thrill ran right up my spine when he said that. Dan’s lady friend ... I could live with that! More than live with that, this was like my wildest dream come true. I was sitting in a restaurant having a conversation and a meal with the most wonderful guy in the world,.
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