He did that thing, where he waited until she looked into his eyes, then he said, “It’s still very early in things, very fresh. But if we still feel this way in a couple of months, then we’ll figure something out. Okay?” She nodded. It didn’t really make her feel better, but she did like knowing he was feeling something like she was. He said, “Maybe I’ll get a place in London, one that we can share. What do you Brits call them, flats?” She stared at him, not really believing what he’d just said. She took a sip, then put her cup back down. Knowing him, it would be very nice and he would call it an ‘investment’ so he didn’t feel guilty about how much it was. She said, “That would be...good.” Her heart beat hard in her chest. She liked the idea, dangerously so.“We do still have some issues to figure out.” She smiled, then couldn’t help saying, “Like you being so old?”He laughed, a good, loud, American laugh. “Oh, my English girl gets brave at the end. Where’s that bigger. At first, which was just over a year ago, I had wondered what was happening to me. I could not work out whether I was going frigid or whether it was a physical or emotional issue. All I knew was that as bedtime approached my mood dropped into almost a depression. I felt slightly scared and I did not like what I was feeling. I did not like making excuses, going to bed early and doing all I could to avoid Ben wanting to have sex.As these sensations and 'anti sex' tactics continued, so our marriage also started to deteriorate. We bickered more and these turned into frequent arguments, some being blazing rows. We found faults in each other in areas where we had not before and we criticized each other about things that previously had not seemed to bother us. We started going out more frequently with friends, or to the gym or other events without the other. I found myself starting arguments mid-evening or near to bedtime, anything to avoid sex."Are you sure?" Ben asked one of his fingers.
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