A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up ... you're next!"Why did the blonde have bruises around her navel?She had a blonde boyfriend.This one is Compliments of dave mOne night a father was helping his son with his homework.The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?"The little boy pondered for a minute and replied "Spinach?"This one is compliments of bob.Don and Frank, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.One day Frank didn't show up. Don didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Frank hadn't shown up for a week. “I need you to hold off on the marketing push against Lone Star,” I said.“What?! Why? It’s all set to go out tomorrow.”I nodded, “And I’m about to call Manuel Nuñez and discuss buying Lone Star.”“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she exclaimed, recoiling in her seat.“No, I’m not.”“Jesus, Steve! Then why do you sound like your dog died?”“If I fuck this up, it could change NIKA in ways none of us like, or it could even ruin it.”“Do NOT doubt yourself! If you doubt yourself, you WILL fuck it up.”“This is NOT self-doubt,” I said firmly. “This is me contemplating the risk and knowing that a hundred people and their families are depending on me to get this right.”“How can I help?”“Right now? Just hold off on the marketing push. I need to talk to Manny before I decide on the next steps.”“The Board knows, right?”“Yes. They approved me having exploratory conversations with Lone Star. The final decision has to be unanimous, though. The Board, you, Julia, Elyse, and me, plus Jamie, Bruce Grady, and.
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