“You have very good reasons to wait and I don’t just mean your prenup with Stan. You were cheated on. The last thing you want is to be guilty of that yourself. I know because I’d never want to cheat after knowing what it felt like. You and I are both still very much recovering. I want you more than I can describe, more than I thought was possible, but I’m also terrified.”“Terrified?!!?” she repeated the word, confused. “Why are you terrified?”“Because you’re beautiful and charming and vibrant and ... perfect! I’m scared I’ll screw it up, scared that you’ll leave me. My parents are both dead, so after what happened with Beth, all the most important people in my life have left me on my own. I know my parents didn’t want to leave, but when Beth left, the feeling was pretty similar to mourning them. I don’t want to ever mourn over you that way. I guess I’m just scared that I’ll say something stupid or do something wrong, or that you’ll find me as boring as Beth did, and move on. Does. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”Why did god create man before he created woman? Because he didn’t want any advice on how to do it.I heard that in a poll of millennials, 50% of the males admitted they’d be willing to date female robots. I understand that in another poll, only 3% of female robots said they would be willing to date male millennials, mainly because they understood the snowflakes were unemployed, still living in their parent’s basement and had voted for Bernie Sanders. One of them, Roberta Robot, was quoted as saying “We may only be machines, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have standards”.Standing on an Ikea podium from Sweden, behind bullet proof Saint Gobain Glass from France, smiling at a 4K Sony Japanese Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser German.
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