This was asking an awful lot."Ike? I won't tell anyone, I swear." I took a deep breath and released it slowly."I'm afraid of pain. Emotional pain mostly. I've been feeling so much of it lately. And I'm afraid no one will ever like me, that everyone I ever meet will think I'm a freak. Most of all I'm afraid of how much I want to hurt people who hurt me." Oh honey!" Izzy climbed up and lay down on top of me like I was a mattress. Her arms snaked around my neck and back as she pressed herself hard against me."Ike, there are people out there who will never like you, no matter what you do. You can't change that. But there are some out there who will like you if you give them the chance. There are even some who'll love you. And don't you ever think you're a freak. It's a stupid word. All it means is 'not normal'. Well, I'll tell you a little secret... there's no such thing as 'normal' or 'average' or 'ordinary'. Anybody who claims to be 'normal' is just announcing that they're boring, dull. I will keep the pool closed for now. There are nineteen others.”Once they managed to get a towel around them, they came back into the break area without giving much of a show.“I’ve already told you I am an expert on women’s bathing suits. Now I will show that I’m not full of shit like I can see that all of you believe,” I told them. “First, you will drop your towels and put one foot up onto the table and move so I can see everything between your legs, and then I’m going to rub between them until I’m sure you get what you need. Then I’m going to put the correct suit on you.”One of the other men with raw balls, from wearing the wrong suit size for the last few days, opened the un-labeled jar and handed it to me. I took a big glob of it over to the nearest woman. None of them did what I said, and one was stubborn. She found herself held down on the table with her legs spread as widely as they could go without hurting her. They held her firm as she watched me moving between her legs..
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