. such as it isI recently bought a bag of air. The company that made it was nice enough to put in a few potato chips... How many thin mints do you have to eat before they start working?My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”I thought to myself, “That’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks... You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism. "Suzette didn't want Lexi to be raised — and she didn't want your life and career — saddled with some of the things she'd done."Max insisted that you'd want to be a part of Lexi's life. Suzette was sure you'd hate her — and maybe even want her to abort. I got stuck in the middle, but I finally sided with Suzette. It was a mistake — and it cost me my marriage."Jay, the only reason I'm here is because Suzette's husband wants to adopt Lexi. I told her she owed it to you to let you know you had a daughter before she gave her away to someone else."My mind shot back to the conversation I had with Amelie in Hawaii."Marie," I said. "Why didn't she tell me? How could she keep something this important from me? My God, I'd have been with her every step of the way. We wouldn't have gotten back together — I'm still not very good at giving second chances as often as I ask for them — but I would have been her friend and a good dad to Lexi. I know I would have."Marie smiled."You still can," she said..
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