" They changed thesubject and asked me what my story was as they pounded down the drinks.I waved to the bar and bought another round. If I could get them drunkenough I was sure they would tell me why I didn't want to go to thattown.I told them my story and what I was selling. They began to laugh againand I thought they would be sick. I asked them what was so funny andthey looked at each other and began to laugh harder. They rolled on thefloor when I asked if I could make sales in Toonwhich.When they had composed themselves one just said that I could unload myentire inventory there in seconds. The one who said that ran for theJohn to throw up from laughing so hard. I asked the other old codgerwhat would be there. He pounded his fist on the table and yelled at methat, "The Toon Witch dwells there." No matter how much I asked theyjust laughed and said that it was where the Toonwhich lived. They wouldtell me no more so I went back to the bar. I was feeling really pissedoff and a little. " Elsa turned to me. "But it appears you also speak those languages. From whom and when did you learn them?" Berlitz," I said with a grin. "Not on my mother's lap." Yeah, right," Elsa said cynically."If I told you the truth, you wouldn't believe me, so let's leave it at that. I'm also a master of Kung Fu, expert with wushu weapons, the saber being one of them, and for what it's worth, I'm a fair to middling blacksmith. If you asked me how I came by those abilities, I'd come up with an answer similar to Berlitz language tapes as my explanation for proficiency in Cantonese and Mandarin."She shook her gray head. "Not good enough. The other side will dig and dig and dig until they know everything about you. To do the job you want me to do, I need to know, too. Surprises can be lethal to our campaigns." I learned the languages, my art, Kung Fu, and how to forge iron during my past lives," I said.She laughed. "Yeah, right."I shrugged. "I told you if I told you the truth that you wouldn't.
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