A women as obsessed with sex as the average man.Love WinningsQ: Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino?A: Because he’s a Valentine’s Card Shark.Cute AnglesIf you were a triangle you’d be acute one.My Better HalfQ: What did the toast say to the butter on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re my butter half!A Good Looking MuffinQ: What did one muffin say to the other on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re my stud-muffin!One in a MillionQ: What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re one in a melon!Beating HeartsQ: What did one beet say to the other on Valentine’s Day?A: You make my heart beet faster!Single SavingsI just saved a bunch of money on Valentine’s Day by switchingto single.Mushroom LoveQ: What did one mushroom say to the other on Valentine’s Day?A: “There’s so mushroom in my heart for you!”Coffee Lover’s DreamWhat’s the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover onValentine’s Day?“Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.”Cannoli GiftI gave my girlfriend a. It’s a nice night out.’ ‘You lead the way!’ I got up out of my chair, kicked off my slippers and walked out the back door. Simeon followed me relatively closely. He thought I would run. Fat chance of that. This was going to be fun. Simeon had a large knife in his hand. He had an evil grin and said ‘I think I’m going to kill you by making a large number of cuts so that eventually you will either die of blood loss or infection.’ ‘I have to warn you Simeon. You are dealing with something you know nothing about. You haven’t even got the smarts to realize that I might have a reason for living out here all by myself. You don’t ever think anything through, do you?’ ‘Yes! Die bitch!’ He lunged but I was no longer where I had been standing. I was fast enough that my move hadn’t even registered in his mind. ‘What did you do?’ ‘I just stepped out of the way. You don’t expect me to stand there and wait for you to hurt me, do you?’ He snarled and jumped at me. Again, he was too slow. My reflexes.
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