Both Alison and I were ready for more so I lay her down, spread her legs and slowly entered her. It felt a little strange as I had never been with someone so skinny but I soon warmed up to it and her push was just as good as any other I had had. We fucked for some time changing positions from on her back to doggie style and her on top. She groaned as we fucked and eventually I came deep inside her. I had watched Bob off and on as we fucked and he masturbated the whole time and he came just before I did. We went downstairs, after we got dressed, and had another beer They both indicated they enjoyed it and she saw me to the door and gave me a big kiss and thanked me as I left. We met once again a number of months later and this time we just stayed in the living room of the cottage using the settee. Bob again just watched as Alison and I got undressed and started to enjoy each others body.I lay on the settee and she played with my cock and sucked it. I asked Bob if he was going to join. Then the sense of wrongness,the horrible feeling that somehow, I was going in the wrong directionbecame overwhelming. But I kept it hidden as best as I could.Then I became a Christian. This made my conflict even stronger, as I wasinducted into a conservative branch of the faith, and felt sure that myneed for the feminine was a sin. This lead to a cycle of "binging" -getting girl clothes and trying to be as female as I could, followed byguilt and "purging" where I would get rid of everything, only to start upagain a week later, or even sooner.Not only that, I suffered severalbreakdowns, and seriously considered suicide several times.Finally, I realized I was hurting those who loved me by not taking care ofmyself. I got counselling for the abuse, and have finally began theprocess of being my true self. Almost immediately upon making thatdecision, I started reaping positive results. My blood ?pressure, whichwas dangerously high, dropped back into normal range. I have been able tobreathe.
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