I felt so inadequate, so powerless."That's a good idea Amanda, that's what I'd do in your situation. Are yougoing to tell Louise what's happened to you"?My situation! How, in God's name, could he ever imagine what I was goingthrough in 'my situation'? And as for Louise! I had been avoiding thinkingabout her, still feeling ashamed at what she might think if she found outwhat had happened to me. Once again though, he gave me no time to form areply."It really isn't fair you know Bill" he said, slipping, "she's been half outof her mind with worry these past few weeks. She's blaming your missing acton herself, you know".No, I didn't know. God, how selfish I was? That thought had never occurredto me. My guilty feelings subsided a little though, when I remembered thatnight she had returned home. I could feel tears starting to build up in myeyes again, as I remembered the confrontation."She kicked me out Phil - kicked me out! She thought that I was my ownmistress for Christ sake. Go on - tell. Sanders from next door cooling her fallen arches in the tideline, prescription sunglasses aimed straight at me. Even though I'd done my best to re-don my bikini bra after Dawn Copperfield had made it disappear during the swim, I figured I was screwed. Screwed? You call that screwed? What could possibly be worse than Adonis - the cutest guy you've seen since Anton's pop-icon pout melted your drawers - swimming close enough to see your goosebumps au naturel? Still, I've always looked up to my Yankee aunt, who's never given me a reason to want to disrespect her. She had my back whenever she thought Mom was being too strict and even talked her into letting me go on my first date with Marc. Oh well, nobody's perfect.So as you can imagine, I couldn't taste a single bite of supper last night, waiting for the "I heard" Weejun to drop. But Aunt Denise chopped the salad greens and served the stuffed peppers and blueberry cobbler without a hint of deviation from her calm demeanor. That didn't.
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