*** I was driving Karen home for the break. We sat in the car, neither of us speaking, both alone with our thoughts. Karen was staring out of the window, watching the scenery flash past, when she spoke, finally bringing out into the open the dilemma I was still struggling to conquer. ‘Dave, what is the problem? Are you still hung up about… well, you know?’ ‘It’s that obvious, isn’t it? Yes, I can’t help it. I know you forgave me, but I can’t forgive myself. I came that close to completely throwing away something wonderful forever, but I just can’t get back to what we had before. My feelings for you haven’t changed, but my inner demons won’t let me feel the same way about us. I’m sorry, but I just can’t shake the sense I’m ruining your life.’ She stretched across and kissed me on the cheek, resting her hand on my knee. ‘You’re not ruining my life. But you can’t just give up again. Tell me how I can help you. I want us to be like we were before.’ ‘I wish I knew how you could help me. I looked out of my lounge window at the street and sure enough there was a black Avalanche truck waiting outside on the street just for me. As I put the curtain back, the guy in the truck waved at me nice and friendly.After I tipped Alison?s stuff onto the bed to make room for my clothes, a crazy idea came to me. It was the beginnings of an escape plan but it was just too fanciful. I then immediately dismissed it as way too crazy but then again there was just a chance. Alison and I had been the same size. She was the same height as me at five foot eight so with a little padding her dresses might fit.The idea disgusted me though and I angrily threw her stuff against a wall at the thought of hiding in a woman's skirts. When it landed in a heap, I noticed a pair of high heel shoes and some other sexy stuff that I liked her to wear. Maybe that was why she?d left all this stuff behind."What the fuck have I got to lose?" I said out loud, "if I do nothing I get two broken legs, if I go along.
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