Turning off the Television my wife gazed at me quizzically. Following my eye line she saw the book resting on the floor, what was to her innocuous was pregnant with memory for me. Before she could speak, I did. I said ‘I found this on the train, with it we will change our collective lives.’ ‘How? Why?’ she asked. ‘It already changed mine once, I’m confident it can again.’ I replied ‘But, how can that be, I know you!’ she said become concerned. ‘I never lie to you, you know that, but in this case I was lying to myself most of all,’ I replied hastily ‘I decided that my past was so unlike everyone else’s that I simply shouldn’t speak of it. For years I created a way of life, this meant not only physical control but also mental control.’ I explained ‘Withholding this from you was only part of it.’ Continuing I said, ‘I convinced myself that my upbringing was like everyone else’s and created my own back-story. This is the story I told everyone, not only you.’ ‘You had better explain. From that day onwards i regularly went near to her asking were she requires any help, and stay close. I started helping her in all the house matters, and she also started accompanying me where she went…. We sat next to each other in the bus and my penis started troubling me, i could not sit in one position and was continously changing my posture, i think she realized that but i did not look at her, when we were about to cross the road, i caught hold of her hand. But i noticed that my fingers were infact touching her boobs…We again travelled by bus and the same continued that night i told i had a head ache and she readily started massaging my head with oil… It took her 40 minutes to complete. I was sitting in between her legs and she was sitting on sofa. She was wearing a nighty. Oh god that was so good in the night she was shivering because of the cold whether in over here, her children had slept and i was the only one who was looking at her, so i made her sleep and put 3 blankets.
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