Part I It was mid-morning when Mama announced that her milk had given out. Arguswas thinking to himself how nice his next drag on one of her dugs would be—justa brief suck to keep him till lunchtime, when he heard Mama's shrill voice: "Allright, you little monsters, come to attention right now!" Argus ran so fastto her that he almost tripped over himself. Polly, Connie, Mavis, Boris, andClovis all came up at a more leisurely pace; but unlike Argus, they weren'tperpetually hungry. "Do I have your attention, you ungrateful whelps?" They were almost as bigas Mama now, but she still had a height advantage, and she used it for allshe was worth. Pulling herself up as far as she could, she favored them withher toothy, wide- mouthed grin. "I checked my milk just now, and there isn'tany. The well has gone dry. The spigot has been spiked. Do you catch my meaning?" "Mama," said Argus, "it's almost my between-breakfast-and-lunch feeding.Where do we go for milk when yours runs out?" "Ah, count on. Around 7 p.m. my wife had dropped our daughter Cindy and her friend and "temporary sister" Angie off at a parentally-supervised middle school party. It was my assignment to pick them after a few hours of soda, chips, and perhaps a few games of innocent "spin the bottle."When Cindy finally called at almost 11 p.m., I knew something was wrong. In the background I heard loud music and loud male voices. In short, a party of decidedly un-middle school characteristics."Dad, you're gonna kill us, but we need your help. Angie and me snuck out from Tanya's party when Mrs. Thomas wasn't looking. We're at a high school party. Can you please come get us?" A high school party? Are you both okay?" Well ... they had some beer here, and they got us to try it. I had some — I know I'm not supposed to — and Angie had some too. Then she drank something they called 'Jungle Juice'. I think it had some booze in it or something, 'cause she started acting really drunk. That's why I'm calling you, Dad. She.
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